


We Could Be Enough

by neonphoenix



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, Past Magnus Bane/Camille Belcourt, Slow Burn, lots of pining, meddling isabelle, mentions of past relationships - Freeform, she's mentioned a few times thats all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-31 22:47:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 20,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13984944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neonphoenix/pseuds/neonphoenix
Summary: “Where is the blue shirt I bought you, you know, the one that hasn’t faded.” Isabelle stood with her hands on her hips, surveying Alec’s wardrobe, rolling her eyes in dismay. She picked through each item, muttering to herself and throwing the clothes that didn’t meet her standards behind her.“Izzy, I’m not going.” Alec heaved a heavy sigh. He appreciated his sister’s involvement in his life, he really did, but as he took in his clothes that were strewn around the floor, he started to think that maybe she was too involved.Once again Isabelle ignored him, throwing a pair of black jeans at Alec’s head, cursing over her shoulder and ordering him to put them on.“I love you Iz, but seriously I don’t really want to go.”“Alec you’re graduating soon and you haven’t been to a single party in the past three years. Just this once please.”Or the one where Izzy is determined to set Alec up with a charming guy from her History of Fashion Design class, but there’s too many hurdles to count standing in the way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This fic started out as an incredibly short prompt from the one and only [Ash!](https://svragent.tumblr.com/) I hope you enjoy the monster that this has turned into. I'm not quite sure at what point this went from being a 500 word drabble to a 20,000 word fic, but here we go.
> 
> A massive thank you to my wonderful beta [Kate](http://taupefox59.tumblr.com/). This fic would have been an absolute mess without you.

“Where is the blue shirt I bought you, you know, the one that hasn’t faded.” Isabelle stood with her hands on her hips, surveying Alec’s wardrobe, rolling her eyes in dismay. She picked through each item, muttering to herself and throwing the clothes that didn’t meet her standards behind her. 

“Izzy, I’m not going.” Alec heaved a heavy sigh. He appreciated his sister’s involvement in his life, he really did, but as he took in his clothes that were strewn around the floor, he started to think that maybe she was too involved. 

Once again Isabelle ignored him, throwing a pair of black jeans at Alec’s head, cursing over her shoulder and ordering him to put them on.

“I love you Iz, but seriously I don’t really want to go.”

“Alec you’re graduating soon and you haven’t been to a single party in the past three years. Just this once please.” Picking up the nearest thing to her, which just so happened to be the blue shirt that she had spent the last few minutes looking for, she flung it at Alec. She smirked slightly when it hit him on the side of the head, promptly knocking the defiant pout that was growing across his face. 

“Could you stop throwing things at me.”

“I’ll stop when you get your butt into some nice clothes and do your hair for once.” She smiled at him, in an exaggerated and sickly sweet fashion as she sauntered out of the room, “Clary will be here soon anyway. You spent so much time complaining, so you only have ten minutes to get ready.”

Picking up the shirt and inspecting it with disdain, Alec sluggishly stood and closed the door behind Isabelle, cursing under his breath.

He stripped down and haphazardly buttoned up the shirt and tugged the horrendously skinny jeans up his legs, nearly falling over in the process. Turning to the mirror, Alec took himself in, and, not that he would ever say it to her face, but Isabelle was right. He supposed he looked alright. Running his hands through his hair, Alec made his way to the kitchen. He kept his eyes trained to the ground, that was until Isabelle threw yet another item of clothing at him, this time a jacket.

Startled Alec let out a strangled gasp, “Seriously, stop throwing things at me.”

“Clary is downstairs, let’s get moving big brother.” 

“Remind me why I put up with you?”

“Love you too Alec.” Isabelle slung her arm around Alec’s shoulder and began leading them downstairs to a patiently waiting Clary.

\---

“Hey babe.” Reaching forwards, Isabelle twisted a lock of Clary’s hair between her fingers and softly pressed a kiss to her blushing cheeks. She then rounded the car and climbed in the other side.

Rocking uncomfortably on his feet for a moment, Alec moved to jump in the backseat, calling a brief greeting to Clary as he went. Clary who, even after months of dating his sister, was still deeply affected by every touch and every tender word. Alec thought it was sweet, if not slightly ridiculous. 

Eventually Clary climbed back into the car and started towards the party.

“Where exactly is this party at? Who’s hosting it?” Leaning forwards in his seat, Alec popped his head next to his sister’s shoulder, his eyebrows raising quizzically. They rose even further in exasperated questioning when he noticed the sly look the two girls shared with each other, “What was that look about, Izzy?”

“What look? We didn’t share a look.” Clary’s eyes shifted briefly from the road as she glanced back at Alec, a poorly concealed smirk pulling at her lips. 

Isabelle sniggered lightly behind her hand as she shook her head in denial, “Nothing big brother. It’s just some guy from my History of Fashion Design class, he’s great.” she paused and turned to look at Alec.

He didn’t like the glint in her eye, not one bit. He knew that look, he hated that look.

”I think you’ll really like him. He’s not your usual type but he’s exactly what you need Alec.”

“No. Absolutely not. Clary stop the car.” Part of Alec wanted to laugh and playfully shove Isabelle. But his other half wanted to rip the car door open and leap out. The latter, in that moment, seemed like the better option.

“Don’t be so dramatic Alec.” Isabelle rolled her eyes, poking at his nose, “I’m not forcing you, I’m just- broadening your horizons.”

Alec opened his mouth to protest but was cut off when Clary stopped the engine and proudly exclaimed that they had reached the party. Surprisingly in his squabble with his sister, Alec had failed to notice the thumping music that tore through the background.

“And so it begins.” Alec groaned, reluctantly following behind the two girls.

\---

The music was loud. Obnoxious even. It made Alec’s skin tingle and his ears burn. The bass thumped, jolting his heart, the two beating in time. Over the roar of the music, a distant cheering could be heard, and chatter filtered hazily through the air. 

It was strange. New. He didn’t like it.

Clary tugged at his arm, and led him to what he the kitchen.

\---

The kitchen was quieter. He could finally move without sweaty bodies bumping against him, or people spilling their drinks and moving on without so much as a drunken apology. This was better.

His eyes scanned the area, finding nothing unexpected. Bottles already littered the counter tops, food was spread out across the table, not that there was much left of it. Alec couldn’t say he was impressed. That was until his eyes landed on the framed designs that hung across the walls. The vibrant colour and patterns pulling his gaze as he inspects the intricate drawings. He guessed the host, the one from Isabelle’s class, must have drawn these. 

He smiled slightly at the designs, his lips quirking up at the edges, only to be knocked out of his haze when Isabelle shoved a red cup into his hand, filled with a suspicious looking liquid.

“Good aren’t they? If you think they’re pretty, wait until you see the guy who drew them.” She wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive fashion and nudged at Alec’s side.

“Really Izzy, could you stop, you’re not subtle at all.”

“Suit yourself. I’ll go find your new man.” With that she fluttered away from the scene. As Isabelle sauntered away sh stopped to wrap her arm around Clary’s waist. Then sent a final exaggerated wink over her shoulder at Alec, leaving him standing alone.

Lifting his cup to his lips Alec took a sip, choking as the alcohol burned at his throat. The bitter aftertaste lingered. He scrunched his nose up, pushing the cup as far away from himself as possible on the bench before abandoning the scene completely, choosing to head outside.

\---

He wandered around outside for a few moments, huffing in exasperation. He wished he had never agreed to come to the party. No matter how much Isabelle insisted, no matter how much she rambled about setting him up, this wasn’t for him.

“Tough night?”

The new voice startled him, causing him to jump and spin around in haste. He clutched his heart at the fright. But as his eyes met the man before him, he was clutching his heart for a different reason, fearing that if he let go it might beat right out of his chest. In short, the man before him was astonishingly beautiful. 

The man’s hair was perfectly styled, a vibrant red streak feathered in. His eyes were glowing in the darkness as he also seemed to drink Alec in, but Alec wouldn’t get his hopes up about that. Alec tried to formulate words, his mouth moved but no sound came out; instead his eyes roamed over the mysterious man’s body. He wasn’t fully aware at how shameless he was being until the man chuckled, and he was knocked out of his daydream.

He stuttered out a response in the end, “Sorry- Sorry, yeah- umm, my sister dragged me here?”

“Was that a question or a statement, Sweetheart?”

“Umm, a statement?”

The man laughed again, and the sound twinkled through the air, drawing Alec in closer.

“Terribly sorry to hear that, but it can’t be that awful?”

“For me it is.” He didn’t mean to say that out loud, he really didn’t.

“I hope you’re not including me in that.”

“What- No!” Somehow, Alec had once again put his foot in his mouth. He wanted the world to swallow him up, “I didn’t mean-”

“Hey, Love, I’m just kidding.” The mysterious man, at some point, had walked closer to Alec. So much so that Alec could feel the man’s breath against his skin. His heartbeat skipped at the notion. “So what is your name then Sweetheart?”

“Alec, nice to meet you, and yours?” Alec stuck his hand out. He regretted it instantly, cursing at himself once again.

The man stared at his hand briefly, raising his eyebrows in a peculiar fashion before smiling brightly and shaking it, “Magnus. The pleasure is all mine.” The man- Magnus - then brought Alec’s hand up to his lips and softly kissed the back of it before gently letting go and opening his mouth to speak again, “How about we go sit down somewhere Alexander?”

Nobody called him Alexander, but he liked the way the word rolled from Magnus’ lips. With no hesitation needed he followed the man’s lead, “Okay.”  
\---

The party fell away from them as they sat on the grass, talking about anything and everything. The music fizzled away, the cheers were muted, and they only paid attention to each other, completely wrapped up in learning everything.

A voice called from behind them, yelling out in frustrated relief, “Oh fantastic, you found each other. And how nice it was for you to wander off Alec.”

“Izzy, hey.” Both of the men spoke at the same time, their heads whipping around to look at the other, eyebrows raising in questioning, all the while Isabelle and Clary shared an entire conversation with just their eyes.

“Wait Izzy is your sister. The one who dragged you here?”

“Yes, how do you know her?”

“We’re in the same History of Fashion Design class.” Isabelle chirped from where she was suddenly perched next to Alec, her head annoyingly hooked over his shoulder. She looked incredibly pleased with herself.

“Oh. You’re the one who’s throwing the party.”

This wasn’t good, Alec could feel his hands clamming up more and more with every passing second as he looked between Isabelle, Clary,and Magnus who were now all chatting away. His thoughts ran a mile a minute as he recalled the conversation from the journey here, and he wasn’t knocked out of them until he heard, “Yes, a ‘time to get over my self pity party’, or a reverse pity party as Catarina said.”

“What are you getting over?” 

“Camille and I broke up.”

“I didn’t know you were back together.” Clary quizzed throwing a panicked glance at her deflated girlfriend.

“It was recent and blew up in my face pretty much immediately. I think I just need time to myself after her horrors.”

Isabelle sighed in defeat, nodding apologetically at Magnus, mouthing a sincere apology at Alec for the slight flaw in her master plan.

Alec couldn’t say he was heartbroken. He’d only known Magnus for a few short hours, but Isabelle had seemed so adamant that they would be perfect for each other. If he was being honest with himself, Alec had started to think she might have been right, if the way his heart fluttered was anything to go by. But maybe Isabelle was wrong. Alec supposed friendship would have to be enough.

He told Isabelle this much on the ride back, when they finally left the party, but she had merely said, “For now.” 

Alec wasn’t sure what she meant by that. He often allowed her blind optimism to fly over his head, and like always, he allowed it to fly over his head, not realising what was to come.


	2. Chapter 2

“Where are you off to?” Catarina whistled when she saw Magnus scuttle out of his room.Something she’d never seen him do before, except for one other time. It didn’t take long for the dots to connect in her head. He was very cleary trying to leave without any of them noticing, “Magnus please tell me you’re not doing what I think you’re doing.”

“And what is it you think I’m doing?” Magnus glided over to the couch that his friend was lounging on and rubbed her shoulders. A vain attempt at distracting her, and really he should have guessed it wouldn’t have worked.

“She’s a cold hearted bitch.” Her tone was dripping in hatred. At first his friends had concealed their thoughts about Camille, but now, after everything, they don’t even bother.

Magnus sighed, his heart breaking. He could almost hear the sound of it shattering like glass, “She said she wants to apologise.”

“Words mean nothing if you don’t back them up with actions.”

“I just need to know what she has to say. Then I’m dropping it. I promise.” Magnus’ exterior walls were starting to tumble down. He played with and twisted his rings around his fingers, a nervous tick that always flared up when Camille was mentioned.

“I get it, you need closure. Just don’t let her worm her way back into your heart. You deserve better,” Catarina paused and thought over her words. She knew exactly what and who Magnus needed, but she wasn’t sure if Magnus was ready to hear it yet. She knew Alec was the one for Magnus. She could feel it in her bones yet she said nothing. Her friend wasn’t ready and she feared if she brought it up with him too early, before he figured it out for himself, then it could ruin everything. “Call me if you need anything.”

“Thank you.”

\---

Magnus was lost. He’d been lost for a long time. Not that he’d realised it. 

He’d been standing in the bitter cold for almost an hour, constructing scenarios for evening. Coming up with ridiculous justifications as to why he was still standing there, waiting for someone who clearly didn’t care.

It wasn’t long before the first drops of rain fell. The pitter patter of rain normally comforted Magnus. He’d always been in love with the rain. However, as the sky darkened and shifted into an inky dark abyss, he’d never felt more alone. He’d never felt like more of a fool. It was a feeling that he wasn’t accustomed to. It was a feeling that he only ever seemed to feel around Camille.

The rain was freezing, burning at Magnus’ skin on contact. To feel it wasn’t enjoyment, not like when he was younger and he used to dance in the rain and puddles. This wasn’t like that, it wasn’t like dancing under the sky with the spring sun shining gently through the grey clouds. 

Magnus laughed softly to himself, fearing that if he didn’t find light in his own stupidity then he would all but fall to the ground. So, with salty tears rolling down his face he looked to the sky and laughed. Everything was chaotic and wild. It was quite fitting, as though Magnus’ tumultuous and broken heart had been ripped from his being and sent to the high heavens.

A black car pulled up from seemingly nowhere, pulling up next to the curb, obscuring Magnus’ path. He took a step to the side, to move away and around when the door swung open and a soft welcoming voice called out, “Magnus? You’re going to catch a cold. Do you want a ride?”

“Alexander?”

“Hey. You okay? You look frozen.”

“I’m not. “ Magnus shuffled uncomfortably under Alec’s tender look. Unsure of why the look made his beaten heart spark to life. He put it down to the fact he just needed someone at the moment “Okay that is. I’m not okay.”

Alec simply patted the passenger seat in response, prompting Magnus to climb into the car. Magnus gazed ahead, only half aware of the world going by outside of the comfort of the car. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Alec asked, his voice barely above a whisper, as if he were talking to a startled deer.

“I went to go meet Camille, she didn’t turn up.” Magnus spoke quietly, the admission embarrassing him, causing a rare blush to flare up on his cheeks.

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Alec spoke softly, trying to keep his voice level. He didn’t want to pry. He’d only known Magnus for a few months, but seeing the other man look so sad broke his heart and made anger swell within him towards the person who caused it.

“Why are you apologising Alexander?” Magnus tried to laugh, but only a strained noise escaped him.

“You don’t deserve to be treated like that.” 

“Maybe not.”

“‘Maybe not?’ You deserve someone who would move the moon and the stars just to make you smile. You deserve someone who will look after your heart and carry it in their hands as if it’s the most precious thing in the universe.” Alec rambled, keeping his eyes trained on the road in front of him, worried that his eyes may convey his feelings too strongly. Magnus didn’t need that right now.

“Thank you Alexander. That means a lot.” Magnus sighed, “I said at that reverse pity party that I was going to be on my own for a while. I promised myself that and I broke that promise. I never break my promises when it comes to other people. I should stop breaking them when it comes to myself too.”

Alec smiled. One of those heart-wrenchingly beautiful smiles. A smile that could make a person melt into a puddle of content happiness. One of those smiles that brightened up the world. One of those smiles that screamed, ‘I’m here for you’. 

Magnus wasn’t sure how long he could last without falling for that smile.

He concluded, reluctantly that he would have to mend his heart before he allowed himself to fall. 

If he was going to fall for Alec, he was going to do it with his entire being. 

Alec deserved someone who would carry his heart in their hands as if it was the most precious thing in the universe.

Magnus wasn’t quite ready yet. But he would be. He just didn’t know it yet.

\---

“Alec. Your boyfriend is here.” Maryse called up the stairs.

There was a brief, fleeting moment where Alec’s face was blank with confusion, and the cogs in his brain couldn’t move fast enough to take in what his mother just said. Surely she didn’t just say what he thought she said. Alec didn’t have a boyfriend.

Then every muscle in his body froze before a grin crept onto his face. It didn’t take long for it to stretch into a toothy smile. He like the way it sounded. Boyfriend. His heart fluttered with giddy butterflies and he buried his face into his pillow. Alec was eternally grateful that he was alone in that moment, he was acting like a child with a crush. 

“Alec! Did you hear me? Your boyfriend is here.” Maryse called again. Clearly Magnus had done nothing to correct her. 

Alec heard shuffling and muffled conversation, then he heard footsteps climbing up the stairs. Two sets of footsteps. 

“Shit.” He whispered to himself. Quickly launching himself to his bedroom door and swinging it open just as Maryse stood there, vaguely alarmed, her fist raised ready to knock. “Hello. Sorry I was just, um, I was changing.”

Maryse eyed him suspiciously. He never was good at lying. 

Meanwhile Magnus was standing just behind her, a wicked smile gracing his face as he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. “Hello, Alexander, my dear.”

Magnus slipped past Maryse and enveloped him in a warm hug. He wrapped an arm around Alec’s waist and pulled him in close, gently rubbing at his side. They always did this. More often than not Magnus would greet Alec with a hug or a tender touch. It was just something they did. But with Maryse watching them like a Hawk, it all felt very different. It felt like it meant more.

“You too are so perfect together. And Alec, I can’t believe you didn’t even tell me you two were dating, seriously, I thought we’d moved past that.” Maryse said calmly, although Alec didn’t miss the twinge of hurt that was clouding her features.

“We’re not- um, I, we’re not dating.” Alec cheeks flushed red, he could barely get his words out, not while Magnus hand was still resting softly on his back. 

Maryse’s eyes moved up and down Alec’s body, and her gaze looked at the two of them in scrutiny. Her eyes narrowed slightly, and her lips curved into a scowl. “My apologies. I should not assume that the boy Alec has been spending all his time with lately was his boyfriend.”

A blush seared on Alec’s cheeks and for a minute he thought his face was on fire. He could only hope that Magnus wasn’t reading too much into this. God how Alec wished mother would just leave. He was all for his mother finally accepting who he was and making an effort to be involved in his life, but she was becoming to be as nosey as Isabelle. 

“Mom, do you not have somewhere else to be?” Alec questioned, he prayed that she caught onto the double meaning.

“Oh yes, actually I do, but not for a little while.”

“Are you going anywhere nice? I couldn’t help but notice your necklace, Buccellati if I’m not mistaken?” Magnus spoke softly, perfectly charming Maryse with the question.

Maryse lifted a hand to her necklace, a proud smile taking over her face, “Yes, that’s right.”

“Well, let me be the first to say that you look beautiful.” Magnus complimented Maryse. Alec couldn’t help but think he was trying to impress her, but why would he possibly need to do that?

“Thank You Magnus.”

Alec looked between the two of them, the pieces finally clicking as to why she was wearing her finest jewelry, “You’re going out with Luke again aren’t you?”

“What, I, well, is that a problem?”

“No. You two look perfect together.” Alec had never seen her blush so much, she was normally stoic and in charge, and to be honest, annoyingly secretive when it came to emotion. Oh dear, he was exactly like her.

\---

As soon as Maryse had left Magnus had launched himself onto Alec’s bed. He was laying with his arms and legs spread wide, staring up at the ceiling, “Alexander, by Luke do you mean-” 

“Yeah, that Luke.”

“Isn’t that just delightful.” Magnus bit the edge of his lip in a vain attempt to keep his inevitable smile at bay.

Alec rolled his eyes, “Stop it. You’re worse than Izzy.”

“I’m not doing anything.” Now he was definitely smirking. Magnus tilted his head to look at Alec who was currently curled up at the top of the bed, his knees pressing into his chin, with a blank expression on his face.

“Yes you are. I know that look, it’s your ‘I’m going to go digging for gossip’ look.” 

Their eyes met and they stared blankly at each other for a moment. Magnus was the first to crack, a laugh bubbling up in his throat, “I hate that you know me so well.” 

“No you don’t.”

“You’re right. I don’t. You know me better than anyone.”

Alec paused, not knowing how to respond to that. The conversation having shifted from one thing into something else entirely and Alec wasn’t sure how to handle the weight of the admission. In truth it made his heart stop and swell. Yet he said nothing, instead he coughed awkwardly and poked his foot into Magnus shoulder, “We should start getting ready to leave.”

\---

“Officially adults.” Alec grumbled, clicking his beer bottle with the others.

“Out into the the big, bad, scary world we go.” Magnus chuckled, bumping into Alec and wrapping his free arm around his waist, “I need to tell you something. Come outside with me.”  
Magnus led Alec over to the grass and pulled them both down. He laced their fingers together and took a depth breath, “My internship offered me a full time job.”

“What? Magnus! That’s fantastic.” Alec exclaimed pulling Magnus in for a hug.

Magnus exhalded, he was shaking ever so slightly. Now that’d he’d said it out loud, it was suddenly very real. In that moment Magnus’ arms squeezed tighter around Alec and accepted the embrace. His body all but melted into the other man, every muscle losing it’s tension. Alec’s body was soft, warm and inviting, and Magnus finding himself never wanting to leave.

“One more thing. The house,” Magnus gestured behind him to the house that he’d spent the past four years living in, “We’re all moving out. It was convenient living there because it was close to class. But now I’m working full time, in Brooklyn. And I know you’re looking to move down there too. So I was thinking, do you want to find an apartment together?”

Alec hesitated, his thoughts spinning in his head a mile a minute, and he couldn’t sort out the scrambled mess quick enough before Magnus started to back track.

“I mean if you don’t want to that’s okay, I just thought it would be-”

“Magnus, I’d love that. Really. It would be so amazing.” Alec smiled brightly, lighting up the night, out-shining the stars. Magnus thought he should smile more. Even more than that Magnus wanted to be the reason for that smile more.

Magnus wrapped an arm around Alec’s waist and pulled him back in close. Magnus’ stomach fluttered at the prospect of this new beginning. Over the past few months everything had gotten easier, suddenly everything didn’t seem so bleak.   
\---

“I can’t believe this is happening.” Magnus was happy, giddy even. All the mundane worries in his life had been muted and all there was to focus on was this moment. No worrying about the past, no anxiety about the future. Things were falling into place. The fact that Alec was there and would be by his side, only made it better.

“You deserve that job Magnus. You’re so talented.” Alec paused, “I remember the first time I saw some of your designs. Of course I didn’t know they were yours, but still, I thought they were beautiful.”

“Well if even Mr. ‘this Sweater used to be black’ can appreciate my designs then I must be doing something right.” Magnus joked, poking Alec in the side where his hand was still wrapped around Alec’s waist.

Alec flinched, a bubble of laughter escaping him. He shook his head and settled back into Magnus’ embrace, not wanting to leave the closeness behind just yet, “You’re never going to let that go are you? It was one time.”

“Sweetheart, it wasn’t just one time. I’ve seen you wear that sweater a million times. I thought it was lovely, it really complimented your figure. Then you ruined it by telling me that it used to be black. Who keeps a sweater for that long?” 

Alec tilted his head down, averting his gaze. He tried in vain to hide the sudden rosiness that had bloomed across his cheeks, “Compliments my figure?”

“Alexander don’t try and pretend that you’re not ridiculously good looking.” Magnus’ other hand fell to Alec’s face, resting on his jaw line. Soft and comfortingly his thumb caressed Alec’s still-rosy cheeks. Magnus’ eyes seemed to glaze over with a tender look but it quickly disappeared when he cleared his throat and moved his hand to gesture into thin air, “Yes Alexander. But that’s not the point. It was a shocking truth.”

“It was comfortable!” Alec protested, though his arguments were weak as he was still shaken. He could still feel the lingering tingle of Magnus’ fingers against his skin. 

Magnus hummed, seemingly shaking off any feelings other than humour, “Hmm. I suppose it was cute.”

Magnus Bane was going to be the end of Alec. He could feel it. But that didn’t mean he minded.

“What are you two gossiping about, it’s fucking freezing out here.” Catarina shouted out of the kitchen window. She didn't stick around for an answer though. Instead she slammed the window closed again. Alec could almost hear her tutting as she walked away.

“We should probably go back inside.” Alec mused.

Magnus shook his head and rubbed his hand against Alec’s side, where it was still resting after their hug, “Just a couple more minutes. Sitting here is nice, even though it’s ‘fucking freezing’.” 

“Okay.”

“Okay.”

\----

Eventually they went back inside, having stayed sitting together for much longer than a couple of minutes. Time always flew by when they were together. Nothing ever felt forced or dragged out.

“I’ll talk to you in a minute, I’m just going to find my sister.” Alec told Magnus and went in search of Isabelle, his heart thumping with excitement. Eventually he found her in the lounge, huddled in the corner with Clary. At least they were just talking and he didn’t have to break them apart. That had happened before and neither of the girls were best pleased at the interruption. “Iz, I need to talk to you.”

“Now?”

“Yes now.”

“Fine, go upstairs. It’ll be quieter.” She huffed, stopping to press a soft kiss to Clary’s cheek before pushing Alec in the direction of the stairs.

Alec led the way, a faint smile still casting a warm, content glow across his face. At the top of the stairs he stopped, judging which door would be the safest to go through without encountering any busy couples. In the end he choose to go into Magnus’ room, knowing it would be the best bet. 

He took a deep breath and launched into an excitable explanation of what had happened that night.

“You’re moving in together?” Isabelle exclaimed, her beer sloshing over the side of her cup as she slammed it down on the chest of drawers.

“I can’t tell if you’re happy or pissed off.” Alec laughed awkwardly, the smile he was wearing slipping off of his face.

“You’re such an idiot Alec.”

“How am I an idiot?”

“You’re moving in with Magnus. You’re in love with Magnus. Did you not think this through? How hard it’ll be to keep it from him?”

“I am not.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He was lying, of course. They both knew it too. Although Alec didn’t realise how big of a lie it was. He chose to ignore his feelings for Magnus, to push them down, deep within himself and to try and never think about them. Over the months he’d pushed down every thing sent in his direction, every twinkle of a smile, every soft touch, everything. It never occurred to him, however, that there was only so much he could bury. At some point it would spill over.

“Fine, but when you two either get together or when he unknowingly breaks your heart in some way, I’ll be here for you. But don’t think I won’t say ‘I told you so.’”

“Charming.”

“I am happy for you Alec. I just can’t help but worry.”

“That’s supposed to be my job. I’m the oldest.”


	3. Chapter 3

Alec stood in the doorway, his hands on his hips and his lips curled up into a smile as he took in the scene before him. Cardboard boxes scrawled on in black marker were scattered around the room, some of them untouched, while others had clothes hanging haphazardly from them. The walls were bare, stark white, but Alec’s lips quirked when he realised they wouldn’t stay that way for long. 

He was broken out of his daydream, however, when a sharp nail prodded at his spine. He turned around and was met with a scowling Isabelle, her eyebrows dipped in feigned anger, “Are you just going to stand there and ogle your new domestic paradise or are you going to help?”

“Stop calling it a domestic paradise.” Alec huffed, taking the box Isabelle was holding away from her before she decided to hurt him.

“Please, you two are the oldest, most domesticated non-couple in the world. You live together. You’ve gotten unbelievably close. You’re each other’s rocks. You’ve spent the last year of college in bliss together, even if you say you’re just ‘good friends’. And now Alec- now you live together. This is domestic paradise. You have matching coffee mugs. Even Clary and I don’t have matching coffee mugs.”

“Sometimes I wonder why I keep inviting you into my space.” Alec hummed, raising his eyebrows at her in defiance, ignoring the way his heart twinged when he was reminded that he wasn’t actually in a relationship.The pair remained frozen, staring each other down in true Lightwood fashion, waiting for the other to crack. They both knew Isabelle would win; she always did. But this time their glaring competition was interrupted when Clary and Magnus came huffing along the hallway, carrying the last of the boxes.

“Remind me why we thought it was a good idea to move somewhere with no elevator.” Magnus sighed, wiping away the sweat that was forming on his brow.

A laugh bubbled in Alec’s throat as Magnus collapsed against the door frame,“That was your idea Magnus.”

“No Alexander, this is your fault.” Magnus shot a daring look across his shoulder, a small indignant pout growing across his lips.

“How is this my fault?”

“When I say stupid things like that, it’s your job to talk me out of it. You have failed.”

“I’m terribly sorry. Will you ever forgive me?”

“I’ll forgive you if you tell me that you put the bottle of wine from Simon into the fridge?”

Alec nodded, “I did.”

“You’re a sweetheart.” Magnus sang, his voice ringing sweetly through the air. “Biscuit, follow me for wine.” 

Alec’s eyes followed the pair as they all but skipped out of the room, the exhaustion from climbing the stairs clearly falling away. Alec’s eyes moved to rake over Magnus, but he stopped himself as he felt Isabelle’s heated stare burn into his neck, “Iz- don’t.”

“You’re both sickening. Get it together already Alec.” She was one second away from grabbing hold of Alec’s shoulders and shaking some sense into him.

“You know I can’t. I can’t ruin this Izzy by saying something dumb.”

“I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: you’re a blind man Alec. You two living together, and lying to yourselves, is going to destroy the both of you.” She heaved an exasperated sigh. It caused her heart to ache when she saw the disappointment flicker in her brother’s eyes. She moved to open her mouth again, to ease the pain that was eating at his heart when a thought pushed into the forefront of her mind. 

She had a plan, but first she needed to talk to Clary.

\---

Isabelle sat at the dressing table and peered thoughtfully at her reflection as she tapped her fingers against her jaw line. She was deep in thought. Her mind completely zoned out as she debated her plan of action in her head.

“Iz, I know you’re gorgeous. You know you’re gorgeous but you’ve been staring at yourself for like ten minutes.” Clary laughed as she settled behind her girlfriend. She allowed her hands to fall on Isabelle’s shoulders, “What’s got you all quiet?”

“I’m just thinking.” Isabelle replied, her tone suspiciously devilish as she tried to shuffle her thoughts.

“Oh no. That can’t be good.” Clary paused, a smirk taking over her lips, “Try not to hurt yourself.”

“Fuck you Fray.” Isabelle picked up hair band that was laying on the table and tossed it over her shoulder at Clary.   
Clary shook her head, laughing lightly at Isabelle’s habit of throwing things,“I’m sure you’d love to.”

Isabelle stuttered for a moment. She wasn’t used to Clary biting back so quickly. It was impressive. “You never used to be this brazen. I like it.”

“Well I learnt from the best.” The redhead giggled, dropping a kiss to Isabelle cheek, “Now tell me what’s wrong.”

Heaving a sigh Isabelle shared her concerns, “It’s Alec.”

“Shit, has something happened that I don’t know about?”

“No- well, maybe? I don’t know. It’s just I’m worried about him and Magnus living together.”

“Babe, they’re best friends? What’s the issue?”

“Seriously Clary, is everybody except me blind?” Isabelle threw her arms up into the arm and promptly stood back up, “I swear, you’re all idiots.”

“Hey!”

“Sorry babe. It’s just Alec is completely and absolute in love with Magnus. It’s going to break his heart because he won’t fucking admit it. Sooner or later Magnus may find someone that isn’t Alec and it will break him. Good God. And Magnus, don’t even get me started, that man is so annoying sometimes. He flirts with Alec all the time, I know he does it with everyone but it’s different with Alec. Magnus doesn’t treat Alec like everyone else. Like Christ, they’re constantly giving each other heart eyes. How do they not see it?” Isabelle rushed out her ranting in one swift breath, leaving her gasping for air once she was done.

“Woah.I mean, I guess I knew they were attracted to each other, they’re clearly both insanely attractive,” Clary blushed at the admission, her cheeks flaming under Isabelle’s astonished face, “I just didn’t think it was love.”

“It’s definitely love.”

“So what. Are you going to bring it up with them?”

“Of course not. They need to realise it themselves.” Isabelle paused, mulling over her words before answering Clary’s questioning expression, “Welcome to operation Malec.”

“Well shit. Let me go get my Cupid’s arrows.”


	4. Chapter 4

The faintest remains of sunlight streamed through the window, yet his mind was clouded with grey. The past couple of month had been perfect, but his emotions were starting to creep in. It had been one of those days where Alec had found it hard to reign his heart in. So he did the only thing he could: he called Isabelle. 

Alec didn’t offer any greeting when she answered the phone, choosing to jump straight into conversation, “You were right.”

“Of course I was.” Isabelle’s voice rang through the phone, “What was I right about again?”

“Izzy, please.” Alec’s eyes fluttered closed and his head dropped into his hand as the words fell slowly out of his mouth. With his eyes closed his thoughts flicked back to the past afternoon. He could almost hear the hazy tune of an outdated song playing through Magnus’ phone in the kitchen as they cooked dinner. He could still feel the lingering touch of Magnus’ hands catching his waist, twirling him around the kitchen. The memory played in his mind like a broken record. A sweet, heavenly moment between two people. But knowing, feeling, that it didn’t mean as much to both of them; that the moment didn’t light a fire in Magnus like it did in Alec? It tainted everything. It made Alec feel like a fool.

“Talk to big brother. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, that’s the problem, everything is perfect, and I can’t stop myself.”

“Alec, sweetie, you’re going to have to explain, because I’m not quite catching your drift.”

“Do you ever feel like you’ve thought of every scenario. Every possibility. Like you’re running to find something, searching forever, but no matter what you do, every single path and option leads back to one place. But it’s a place you’re never actually allowed or supposed to be. Yet your mind can’t stop going back to it.” Alec’s shoulders sagged in relief as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders at finally being able to speak the words. Only, the relief was replaced with melancholy. “I can’t stop myself from falling Iz. I can’t. I’m going to fuck everything up.”

“Alec, just tell him.”

“I can’t. Don’t you get that?”

“Honestly, no, I don’t get it. What are you so afraid of?”

Alec had always believed it was better to have something than nothing at all. He believed it in all aspects of life. Some people may argue with him, but he couldn’t convince himself otherwise. His thought process was the same when it came to love. To have a little bit of someone’s heart, even if it wasn’t in the way you wanted, at least it was better than nothing.

Alec supposed he was a coward. Too scared to admit his feelings. Too afraid to fight for it. Too fearful of being rejected. He wouldn’t be able to handle that, he wouldn’t even know where to start.

Rejection was a funny thing. It’s difficult to judge whether or not it’ll happen. Alec could never be completely sure. Alec believed it would happen, at some point, he could almost feel it, yet he knew he would never be prepared for it. 

Alec wasn’t ready for it. He was falling, and falling fast. He had given his heart to someone who didn’t even know they were holding it. 

He could tell Magnus. Blurt out his feelings, scream it to the world. Yet a lingering thought screamed at him, why would a person protect a heart they don’t want? What if they dropped it, shattering it into a million pieces?

It was better to have loved as a friend then to be broken by unrequited love.

“I don’t know.” The lie rolled heavy and uncomfortably off of his tongue.

“That’s ok. It’ll work out in the end Alec. Trust me.”

\---

Alec slouched at the desk as he stared vacantly at the pages in front of him. Occasionally he would catch his thoughts wandering to a golden-eyed man and he would promptly push his shoulders backwards and pull the small of his back upwards and draw his focus back to the words. He wouldn’t let himself wind up as some hunchbacked old man who pined almost obsessively over Magnus Bane. It would be work first. 

But as always, once his thoughts wandered over to the man there was no getting himself back on track, no matter how hard he tried, so, he gave up trying to concentrate and drew his legs up onto the chair. With his chin propped up on his knees, he stared into space. Locking himself away from the outside world, he allowed himself to fall into his own little world.

“Alexander!?”

A hand came down on Alec’ shoulder startling him out of his daydream.

“Huh, what?” 

“I called your name like five times. You were to busy looking like you’d just found the answers to the universe. All love struck.” Magnus gasped in his usual dramatic fashion and spun the chair around so that they were now facing each other, “Who is he?”

“Excuse me?” Alec’s heart was pounding in his chest as his eyes locked with Magnus’. He was praying to himself, a constant mantra of, ‘please stop asking’. Alec knew that one day he would crack, that he wouldn’t be able to stop his feelings from tumbling out of his mouth. Magnus could read him, as if he were an open book. They knew every single one of each other’s secrets, and Alec loved being that close to a person. He loved it just as much as he hated it. It was a secret like this though, that made Alec was glad they didn’t know everything. Not this time. This was the one thing that Alec wished for Magnus to never figure out. 

“Come on, that was totally a love-struck, longing for romance day dream. Who is he?” Magnus pushed, a grin took over his face and glee coated his tone.

The thought of Magnus actively wishing Alec to be with someone else was yet another blow to his heart. It was a reminder, a constant sting that Magnus didn’t feel the same.

“Come on Magnus, leave him alone.” A voice called from behind. It was Isabelle. It funny how even a glance at Magnus’ face could make the world fall away. When he was with Magnus, Alec didn’t focus much on everything else, too entrapped by the man’s allure to notice. Too ‘love-struck’ to even notice that his sister and Clary were in the room.

Magnus groaned loudly, “Isabelle. You’re his sister and I’m his best friend, it’s our job to hound Alec about boys.”

“Not today. I have other news to tell.” Isabelle tutted, her voice light and joking, but something on her face, an underlying emotion, told a different story. 

“Oh yes. Exciting times Alexander. Go ahead Izzy.” Magnus clapped his hands together in enthusiasm before turning to knock Alec’s legs off of the chair and settling in the startled man’s lap.

It’s not that this sort of behaviour wasn’t unusual, it’s just normally Alec has a chance to calm the butterflies in his stomach before he gets this close to Magnus.

“You two are ridiculous.” Isabelle rolled her eyes and shared what seemed to be a devious look with Clary, “Anyways, Friday night we’re all driving up to a beach house in the Hamptons, so make sure you’re ready.”

“Wait what?” Alec stammered.

Isabelle scoffed at his whining, “No arguments Alec, it’s already paid for. Which by the way means you owe me for your share.”

“Again, I repeat, wait what? You can’t just spring this on me and expect me to pay for it without even asking me first.” 

“Sure I can. I just did. Besides it’ll be fun, and you’ll thank me for it later.” Realistically she knew she should have asked first, but she was doing this for Alec. He would understand with time, and hopefully thank her for it,

Alec groaned once again and dropped his head into the crook of Magnus’ neck, huffing lightly in annoyance.

Magnus laughed at the cuteness of it all and moved to comfort Alec, “It’ll be fun, don’t be a grump.”

Isabelle hummed to herself as she watched the two men. Yes, Alec would definitely thank her for it later.

\---

Magnus muttered unhappily to himself as he rifled through Alec’s clothes. He tutted and shook his head in dismay when he couldn’t find what he was looking for. With one last fruitless search he gave up and turned to an amused Alec, “Why are all of your clothes black?”

“They are not.” Alec argued, he sauntered over to the closet and picked out a single grey sweater, “This one is grey.”

“This one is grey.” Magnus mimicked with an eyeroll. “Where is the blue one Izzy bought you?”

“What blue shirt?” Alec feigned confusion at the mention of the shirt and looked away. His eyes roamed the room, narrowing slightly when he realised the extent of the destruction to his closet Magnus had caused, again. Alec wasn’t entirely sure why, but the other man had an extreme interest of Alec’s bedroom. 

“Don’t play games with me Lightwood, you know which blue shirt.” Magnus all but whined. He was determined for Alec to pack the shirt, but Alec wouldn’t budge on his denial. “Ugh fine. I guess all the upstate boys will just have to miss out on the glorious sight of you in that shirt. Such a shame, it really makes your eyes pop.”

With one final sigh Magnus left the room to tackle his own suitcase. As Alec watched him leave, he couldn’t help but think that just maybe he should dig up the shirt from where he’d stuffed it in a box, along with the other items he’d hidden away from his college days.

\---  
Alec pottered around the room for a while, lost in his own world. Time flew by, not that he noticed. He packed and repacked his suitcase, deciding to take Magnus’ advice. Not that he would admit that to the other man. 

“Alexander, it’s eleven, Izzy just called saying she’s downstairs. She’s kind of annoyed that you didn’t answer her call.” Magnus called from across the hall.

“Shit.” Alec exclaimed, he hadn’t even realise his phone had rung. 

With a flurry, Alec closed his suitcase and rushed out of the room, rolling his eyes as he heard Magnus cackling at his rushing in the background.

\---

“Hey.” Alec called through the car as he opened the trunk and put his and Magnus’ suitcases inside.

“I rang you like three times.” Isabelle replied, staring at him through the rearview mirror.

“Yes, good morning to you too Isabelle. I’m fine, thanks for asking, how are you?” Alec climbed into the car and settled next to Magnus.

“Clever. Stop keeping your phone on mute.”

“Will do, Captain.” Alec clicked his seatbelt into place then finally turned to say a greeting to a giggling Clary.

“Where’s Blondie? I thought we were picking him up too?” Magnus chirped, leaning over to rest his chin on Clary’s seat.

“Jace called this morning to cancel. So it’ll just be the seven of us.” Isabelle paused, a look of annoyance crossing her features, as if Jace bailing was the greatest bane of her life, but it was fleeting and she quickly schooled them back into one of serenity, “Simon and Raphael are picking Maia up on their way, so at least that still works out.”

Magnus raised an eyebrow but accepted the new plans nevertheless, “Shame, but it’ll still be fun.”

\---  
Isabelle despised driving in the city. The traffic barely crawled along. It was red light after red light; they were seemingly never ending. The pain of traffic and her hatred for city driving already had her in a foul mood when she and Clary drove to pick up Alec and Magnus. The sourness was increased tenfold when she found out Jace had to cancel. It had completely ruined her plans. Heaving a heavy sigh, Isabelle slumped down in her seat as the traffic barely edged forwards.

“Izzy, relax, I have an idea of how we can fix it.” Clary leant over and whispered in Isabelle’s ear.

Isabelle flinched in response as the whisper sent shock wave down her neck. She quickly flicked her eyes to look at Clary, then back to look at Alec and Magnus, who were, unsurprisingly, wrapped up in their own world. Alec had, at some point fallen back asleep on Magnus’ shoulder, and Magnus had his earphones in and was staring out of the window, his hands playing absentmindedly with Alec’s fingers. “Like what?”

“Well the fifth room the one Jace was supposed to sleep in? I checked, it’s an attic room, up it’s own flight of stairs. Just lock the door. Don’t tell them it’s open for guest use. Say the owners use it for storage or something”

“That is so dumb.” Isabelle mumbled, “But fine, I guess that’s all we’ve got.”

Clary smiled and reached out to poke at the side of Isabelle’s lips, nudging at the corners to force a smile, “Sorted.”

Isabelle rolled her eyes and leant forwards to steal a kiss, only to be cut off and startled when the car behind aggressively and repeatedly blew their horn. Isabelle shot them a deathly look and stuck her middle finger in the air, “Alright calm down, fucking hell, I’m moving.”


	5. Chapter 5

The house was a classic. It was standing alone, tucked away at the end of the street. The wood it was built from was painted a pristine white, blindingly bright, but somehow the house still looked natural. Trees and various greenery blended everything together. There was a great ash tree blooming protectively over the front lawn.

The house itself had a slate grey roof and a small bricked chimney. The house had three levels, with several windows to the front of the house, opening the rooms up to the light. The roof sloped slightly, ending with enough room to allow an attic room to be built. Not that they would be using that. Everything was beautifully symmetrical. Each window pane was painted an alarming shade of red, starkly contrasting the white picket fence and wooden panels of the house.

Alec marvelled at the building as he climbed out of the car. He couldn’t help but think it looked rather doll-like. Not that he would mention that to any of the others.

“About time.” Maia shouted from the decking. She was lounging on a wooden swing set, her legs resting leisurely across the laps of her two companions; a beaming Simon and a scowling Raphael.

Alec was too busy taking in the house and joking with Magnus, he didn’t even notice they were there. He seemed to be doing that a lot lately. 

“Sorry we got stuck in traffic.” Clary apologised as she bounded up the path to hug her friends in greeting.

“Hi, sorry about that. Let’s get inside then.” Isabelle smiled.She rested her hands on her hips for a moment and thought quietly to herself, “Alec and Magnus, would you mind getting the suitcases?”

“Sure.” Alec replied.

Isabelle threw a thank you over her shoulder and ran up to the house, punched a code into the door and rushed inside. Alec watched her in confusion and pondered aloud what that was all about.

“She’s trying to get the best room.” Simon yelled. He flung Maia’s legs off of his lap and bolted inside to follow Isabelle.

But in fact, Isabelle wasn’t trying to claim the best room to herself, she was attempting to lock the attic bedroom door before any of the others realised it could be used. An act she was thankfully, for the sake of Operation Malec, successful in. 

\---

“Iz, there’s only four rooms?” Alec questioned, when he returned downstairs to meet the others in the kitchen.

“Yeah.” Isabelle replied, not even bothering to look up from her phone.

“Where am I supposed to sleep then?” Alec’s hands flew up into the air. He knew he should have checked the booking details.

Isabelle waved his hands away, finally putting her phone down, “You can share with Magnus.” 

Alec’s mouth opened and gaped for a moment. A flustered blush bloomed across his cheeks, and he willed his heart to slow down, but that proved to be unsuccessful.

“Wait, if there’s only four rooms, does that mean you were expecting Jace and I to share?” Maia interrupted, her tone dripping with sarcasm. 

“Jace isn’t here, so it doesn’t matter now.” Isabelle fluttered her eyelashes in exaggerated innocence.

“Please Maia, we all know you and Jace wouldn't have minded sharing.” Simon snickered behind his hand, only to duck behind a still scowling Raphael’s shoulder when Maia shot him a deadly glare.

Maia poked Isabelle in the shoulder, a frown painting her features, but they could all tell a smile was threatening to break out, “You are shameless Isabelle Lightwood. Shameless.”

“Um, hello, the matter at hand.” Alec said, his voice soft. He feared that if he spoke any louder they would be able to notice the slight shake in his voice.

“It’s fine, we can share Alexander.” Magnus assured him, gently rubbing Alec’s shoulder.

Alec stuttered, Magnus’ soft touch throwing him off even more. He wasn't sure what to do with himself. He couldn’t even handle Magnus being this close without butterflies erupting in his stomach. How on earth would he handle sharing a bed with him? Of course they lived together, but Alec always made sure to stay far enough way so that he could keep his feelings in check. Now, he wasn’t sure if he would survive the weekend without blurting out his feelings, “Oh-um-oh, okay.”

“Great. Now let’s get sorted out. I’m proposing we go down to the shop to buy some alcohol and food then spend the night out back, in the pool, maybe go in the hot tub. Then in the morning we can go to the beach?” Clary eagerly suggested.

“Sounds good. Raphael and I can go to the store, while you guys sort things out here?” Simon turned to Raphael, his eye gleaming in happiness when the man relented and agreed to the idea.

\---

The bedroom was larger than Alec was expecting, as was the bed. But the confirmation that the bed was big enough for the both of them, and that they wouldn’t have to sleep pressed together, did nothing to calm his pounding heart. Alec knew himself, he knew that he had a habit of curling up, right in the centre of his own bed. But sharing a bed with Magnus and having that habit creep forwards? He wasn’t going to be able to sleep for a single second.

The bed was neatly made, covered in soft pillows, a fluffy duvet, with mountains of blankets at the foot of it. Even just looking at it made Alec sleepy, like he could fall into it and his eyes would instantly flutter closed and his body was huddle and snuggle in close within a second. This would definitely be a problem.

A whistle sounded behind Alec, startling him out of his panic. He whipped around, realising that he was completely blocking the doorway, causing Magnus to hook his chin over his shoulder in order to see into the room.

“Fancy. Izzy choose this place well.” Magnus turned, his breath tickling Alec’s neck.

“I’d be more impressed if she’d chosen a place with the correct number of beds.”Alec flinched and hurried away from Magnus, not noticing the way the man’s face fell and the glimmer in his eyes dimmed at the words.

“I’m not that bad Alexander.” Magnus chuckled, but this time Alec didn’t miss the dejected undertones.

“Sorry,” Alec faltered and dumped the case he was holding on the floor. Immediately he rushed back towards Magnus. His hands froze mid air, only just stopping himself before his hands reached up to gently cup the man’s jaw. “I didn’t mean it like that, honestly. I just don’t want to ruin your weekend by invading your space.”

“Please Alexander, I don’t mind.” Magnus quirked a smile and proceeded to flit past Alec and launched himself onto the bed, “Get your cute butt over here.”

“Fine.” Alec climbed onto the bed and settled against the cushions, his back rigid. His bones were seeping with nerves and his heart was flickering like an open flame, as if one touch would set him alight.

Magnus raised an eyebrow at him and gestured at Alec’s entire being, questioning his strange behaviours.

Alec sighed, finally giving in to the little voice in his head telling him was okay to let himself get close. He settled down on the mattress and rolled over to face Magnus, “Izzy is going to kill us if we don’t go downstairs to help.”

“I’m sure the girls will be fine, it’s probably best we’re kept out of the way for now. Besides she can always shout for us if she needs to.” Magnus assured him, taking his hand and playing with Alec’s fingers. “I bet Simon makes Raphael buy Reese’s. Bring on the return of the great Reese’s verses M&M’s debate.”

Alec laughed, his heart finally calming down as they reverted back to their usual conversations, “I don’t know what Izzy has against Reese’s, she’s always been like that.”

“Seriously, remember that night at the party, it was like three am and all she could talk about was how much she hated them. I’ve never seen someone get into such a heated argument about chocolate.”

Alec giggled at the memory. That night had brought many new, great things into his life.“When Izzy gets and idea or an opinion in her head, she commits to it. Even if it’s something as mundane as candy.”

“I still can’t believe that night happened. In fact, I still can’t believe Raphael jumped into the conversation and sided with Simon. He showed such emotion that night, and over chocolate too.” Magnus snorted, “He’s never going to live that down.”

“They’ll also never be down with Izzy claiming she introduced them.” Alec’s giggling increased and he buried his head into Magnus’ neck, no longer agonising over every movement. He reminded himself it was just Magnus. 

“That girl is like Cupid, I swear.” Magnus laughed, his shoulders shaking.

At that, though, Alec’s laughed trailed off. That’s one thing Magnus didn’t know about that night. Isabelle’s original plan was to set the two of them up; a plan that had majorly failed. It would seem that Isabelle wasn’t the perfect Cupid. Alec had made peace with that fact. At least one relationship had resulted from that night, even if it wasn’t the one his sister had planned. 

“Alexander?”

“We should probably go downstairs.” Alec shuffled away from Magnus, a smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes painting his face.

Before Magnus could question any further, Isabelle’s voice rang out from down the hall and her shoes clicked along the floorboards as she grumbled, “Alec, Magnus, stop skipping out on your duties and come help us.” She flung the door open, pausing her muttering when she was met with Alec rushing past her, “Okay then.”

Isabelle turned to face Magnus, who looked perfectly fine. But she knew better than to believe everything that charming smile said. She knew how to read behind the lines. 

“We were just getting sorted, we were not skipping out on our duties.” Magnus quipped as he strolled from the room, blowing a kiss over his shoulder when Isabelle stuck her tongue out at him.

“You two going to be alright sharing?”

“Yeah, why wouldn’t we be?”

\--- 

Alec hesitated, drawing his glass back away from his lips when the question hits his ears. He faltered, staring into in glass hoping that an answer would come to him within the next few moments. He took a sip, the cheap wine burning at his throat, but at least it had bought him some time to think. 

“Oh come on Alec. Your silence is deafening, what you trying to hide? Or should I say who?” Maia laughed, wiggling her eyebrows at the suggestion.

An awkward laugh bubbled in Alec’s throat. He felt the earth rocking beneath him and his mind began to drift into space, his vision wavering, but he was sure of his answer. Maia was right, there was somebody, and that person was currently sitting to his left. Alec glanced to the side, still avoiding the question. His eyes briefly locked with Mangus’. Magnus who was sitting wrapped in Alec’s coat, cross legged on the pool edge. His eyes were wide, the light flickering off of them as the moonlight poured onto his skin. It was beautiful, he was beautiful. 

“There is someone. Well sort of-it’s, um- yeah it’s, it’s a thing. I mean it’s not a thing.” Alec cursed himself. Sending the middle finger in the direction of his sister as she laughed maniacally at his ramblings, ”I’m not saying who.”

“Alexander, you have a boyfriend and didn’t tell me?” Magnus said. His smile had a bright smile stretched across it. But Alec knew better. He was hurt. Hurt that Alec may be keeping things from him.

“No! No I don’t. There’s nothing going on. I just like someone that’s all.” Alec exclaimed, unable to deal with the pained glint in Magnus’ eyes, “But it’s nothing he’ll never like me back anyway, so it’s okay. Really. It’s nothing. Sorry I didn’t mention it. He doesn’t want me the way I want him so- It just hurts to talk about.”

He didn’t mean to say that last part. The words just fell out of his mouth before he could stop himself. In fact he didn’t even realise how much it hurt until he said it. He didn’t want to admit to himself that every smile, every touch, every harmless but misplaced term of endearment hurt. Like a stab to his heart. A reminder that the person he liked wasn’t ready for someone else. That the person he was uncontrollably falling for wasn’t open for anyone.

“Sorry Alec, I shouldn’t have asked. God I wish you’d picked dare then I would have just told you to jump in the pool or something.” Maia giggled, trying to lighten the mood, a feat she never ceased to fail at. She just had the charm for it.

Alec opened his mouth to respond when Simon suddenly gasped, “I know the perfect person to help you get over your unrequited love.” 

“Simon I really don’t think-” Isabelle started, her voice firm.

“Hang on. I’ll come around your side and show you a photo, I could even give you his number He’s actual;y in the Hamptons too, at the moment.”

“Simon.” Isabelle tried again, not wanting to make it too obvious that she hated this idea. It would seem she was the only one that hadn’t missed the sadness flash across Magnus’ face. That was all the confirmation she needed to get Simon to shut up.

Alec stuttered, his eyes darting around the group, screaming silently for help. He really didn’t want Simon to set him up. He really, really didn’t want Simon to set him up. Finally his eyes met Magnus’ once again, and something completely unexpected happened.

Clary leapt out of her seat and dove at Simon. She screamed and howled, charging straight for him before finally reaching her target, landing them both spluttering in the pool.

A beat when by and no one said a word. That was until an otherwise quite Raphael, who had been more than happy to sit by the fire, cuddle with Simon, spoke up, “Dios, how drunk is she?”

Isabelle was the first to lose it, the others soon following suit.

Within a few moments, all of them had jumped into the pool, the game quickly forgotten. At least for now.


	6. Chapter 6

The previously still water, once glassy and tranquil, was alive. Their now discarded clothes drifting in the water and hung from the ladders, thrown in every direction. The lights from below lit the water up, cast bright white lights across the pools mosaics, reflecting tiny fragments of colour. 

Alec was floating on his back, only to be knocked upright by a smirking Isabelle, her eyes alight with mischief, “Clary and I are going up to bed.”

“Oh good night then.” Alec righted himself and scanned the pool, catching Clary’s flaming red hair as she padded across the decking.

“I think I’m going to call it a night too.” Maia swam up to the pool side and gracefully pulled herself off and bid everyone goodnight.

Once all the girls left, the remaining four floated and messed around in alcohol infused chatter, although it wasn’t long before Raphael and Simon both called it a night too.

“And then there was two.” Magnus chuckled falling backwards to float on the water, closing his eyes at the peace.

Alec watched him for a long moment, before he realised staring in such a way might be considered creepy. Instead his eyes fell to the surface of the water. Taking a depth breath, Alec dove under the water, pushing himself down to the tiles below. 

Breathing out slowly through his nose he allowed himself to sink. The coolness of the water brought him to the perfect moment. His foggy mind cleared. With his eyes closed Alec let a few moments pass, where he ceased to analyse. Underneath the surface he escaped, if even for a few seconds. 

Then he finally let himself breathe again, pushing off back to the surface. 

When he emerged he pushed the air through his lips and opened his eyes. Before once again falling onto his back to foat.

“Having fun there Alexander?” 

Alec turned his head, his gaze locking with Magnus’. His reply was simple and honest “Yes.”

Eventually Alec turned and swam to the side, planting his feet down at the shallow end of the pool. He reached up and stretched, clicking his bones.

Magnus followed suit, settling beside Alec, bumping their shoulders together. Magnus didn’t say anything for a while, instead he reached his arms across the edge of the pool. One of them nearly curling around Alec’s shoulder, only a hair's width away. Then the man closed his eyes, completely unaware of Alec’s inner turmoil.

Alec gaped openly now as his eyes roamed across Magnus’ face. He was beautiful. Alec had thought that the second he’d first met the other man and nothing had changed since. 

Alec had always, and would always think Magnus is beautiful, but now he knew that it wasn’t just skin deep. He had the kind of face that would make you stop in your tracks. The more Alec got to know Magnus the more he came to understand that with each passing day he only got more handsome, as if his soul was shining through his skin. 

It only made Alec’s feelings grow for him. His mind told him to stay away though, to not go there, that it would ruin everything, and that he should just be grateful to have the man as a friend. The other very small part of him, however, said that he should give in, lose the harsh grip on himself. 

“You’re staring.” Magnus teased.  
“Sorry. Lost in thought.” Alec shrugged, moving away from the growing comfort of Magnus’ slight embrace.

“You tend to do that a lot.” Their eyes lock as Alec moved in front of him.

“Yeah, I do.” Always do when I’m with you. Alec chose to keep that last bit to himself. Now wasn’t the time.

Unexpectedly Magnus’ hand drifted to Alec’s hip. It settled there for a long moment, quite clearly a deliberate move. Alec inhaled sharply, frozen in place. “I think I’m going to go up to bed. Care to join me?” Magnus climbed out of the pool and offered Alec a hand. “It’s getting late.”

“Oh. Um yeah.” Of course Magnus wasn’t going to kiss him. Of course he wasn’t going to move his head forwards and rest their foreheads together. That wasn’t going to happen.

Alec could of climb out of the pool on his own, but he took the outstretched hand anyway, still disoriented from Magnus’ touch. He took the outstretched hand and relished when their hands fit together perfectly. That’s as close as he was ever going to get.

\---

The two of them kept their hands clasped all the way upstairs. Neither one of them in any rush to let go. At the last possible moment Alec reluctantly dropped Magnus’ hand and got ready for bed. He went about his routine as normal, although he did take longer than usual, drawing every action out for as long as he could, not wanting to be the first one in the bed.

In the end Magnus was the first one to slip under the duvet. He fluffed the pillows and snuggled down into bed, curling up to face the centre. 

Eventually Alec joined him, turning the lights off on the way he climbed into bed, putting as much distance between them both as humanly possible. He was being ridiculous. He knew that much. Yet he did it anyway, “Good night Magnus.”

“Sweet dreams Alexander.”

Silence swept over the room. 

“Alexander, Sweetheart, you’re laying like a vampire, relax.” Magnus spoke softly through the darkness, shifting to poke at Alec’s shoulder.

“Sorry, sorry I’ve just never shared a bed with someone before- I mean, I have, but like,” Alec stammered, “I have, it’s just like - okay I haven’t.”

“You’ve never slept in the same bed as someone else before?” Magnus was, quite frankly astonished. It baffled him that he was the first person to share a bed with Alec. In any capacity. 

“See this is why I didn't say anything. You must think I’m such a loser.” Alec shuffled to face Magnus. He was glad it was pitch black, that way Magnus wouldn’t see the embarrassed red flush that was seeping down his neck, and he wouldn’t be able to see the judging gaze Magnus was probably giving him.

“I would never think that.” The softest of the admission did nothing to lessen Alec’s embarrassment, but it did make him lift his head from where he was trying to burrow under the pillows.

“Really?”

“Really.” Magnus insisted, “Now with that out of the way you can relax. It’s no different to sleeping like how you normally would.”

“Sorry if I snore, or roll on top of you.” Alec’s blush deepend at the mere mention of that possibly happening, God know how embarrassed he’d be if or when it actually happened.

“I wouldn’t mind.” Magnus chuckled, unaware of the weight of the words causing Alec to have an internal meltdown.

Eventually Alec managed to compose himself, and thanked the darkness one last time for blanketing his blush. 

Slowly his thoughts dissolved into nonsense, his mind went into free fall, swirling with the beginnings of a new dream. He welcomed the warmth and comfort of sleep, finally he let go and relaxed into a deep slumber, unconsciously huddling close to Magnus.


	7. Chapter 7

The early morning mist had begun to clear. The dew-laden grass was glistening under the morning light. The sunrise was casting a pinkish glow, tinting a thin layer onto the clouds that were spreading, painting the sky, announcing a new day.

Birds chirped, singing sweetly outside of the window, causing Magnus to stir. In his sleepy haze, he had forgotten where he was and who he was with. His hand moved as if to reach for his phone, but was instead met with Alec. 

Magnus’ hand, as if by it’s own accord, moved to Alec’s waist, tightening it’s hold on their already moulded bodies. His fingers curled into the fabric of Alec’s shirt, not clasping tightly, but just enough to draw himself in even closer. 

He could almost hear Alec’s heart beat from where he was burrowing his nose into the man’s neck. With a soft inhale Magnus’ eyes fluttered closed again, content with the morning. 

It wasn’t long before Magnus’ eyes blinked the sleep away again. He rolled his shoulders and carefully tried to maneuver himself away from Alec. No such luck. Not that Magnus was complaining. 

Magnus found himself staring, entranced by Alec’s little rhythmic snores. It was like a switch had been flipped. Magnus’ eyes followed and mapped every inch of Alec’s face, noticing little quirks and beauties that he’d never truly taken the time to appreciate before. 

Of course he knew Alec was handsome and beautifully endearing. He’d known it since the very first moment he’d laid eyes on the man, but he’d never allowed himself to really take a moment.

Magnus’ hand found it’s way into Alec’s hair. For a moment his fingers combed through the sleep tousled hair. Then they moved down to trace over Alec’s eyebrows, they circled over his cheekbones and then ran over the sharp angle of his jaw, stopping just before they reached his lips. 

Magnus knew that he shouldn't be doing this. He had no right to look at Alec this way, yet he couldn’t seem to stop. Alec’s lips were usually drawn into a soft line, not quite a smile, but not really a frown. However, right now they were parted, little puffs of air escaping them as he slept. Perfectly kissable. Yet another thought that Magnus knew he shouldn’t be thinking.

Magnus grudgingly pulled away from Alec, knowing that if he got any closer, he’d lose himself down a rabbit hole that he didn’t quite understand. He wasn’t sure of himself, as much as it may seem like it. Alec made him dizzy. It made him question his heart.

Slowly Alec began to wake up. At first his head lolled to the side, nuzzling into Magnus’ chest. His eyes were fluttering open and closed. It seemed like he wasn’t sure where he was either. Sill half way between dreamland and reality. 

Alec murmured into Magnus chest. The hand that he hand around Magnus waist moved, falling into place against Magnus’ hip, just creeping under his t-shirt. The hand was comforting, warm, and sent buzzing shocks across the skin. 

But as much as Magnus enjoyed the feeling of having someone close, he knew it wasn't like that for Alec. That the other man would be embarrassed, and retreat into himself. So he moved, this time not giving in to a sleepy Alec’s warm embrace.

Magnus got dressed quietly and tiptoed out of the room, his head and heart in a complete mess. 

\---

Alec hummed happily into the breeze, his eyelids fluttered closed as he breathed in the fresh sea air. He scrunched his toes, and curled his fingertips into the sand, the grains running through. Wiggling to get comfortable a shiver cascaded down his spine as a brief gust of wind rushes over him. His lips curved upwards into a smile, when he heard the twinkle of Magnus laugh for down near the shore.

He lay there for a moment. His mind clear and delighted. A passing thought in his mind told him that the pleasurable buzz in his bone was because he’d slept well. It wasn’t because he’d slept in Magnus’ arms. No. Not at all.

“Alec, come and join us.” Isabelle yelled across the beach, drawing the attention of more than a few pairs of eyes.

Alec groaned, his peace disturbed, and the perfect scenarios running through his mind ceased. He rose into a seated position and gazed far off into the horizon, his eyes crinkling in the sun. Through narrowed eyes he watched as each wave lapped over one another, and how the flaring hues of the sun melted into the sky and the sea.

“Alec, come on.” It was Clary who yelled this time, her voice cheerful and light, trailing off into high pitched squeal when Isabelle dove at her.

Sluggishly he stood up, dusting the sand of of himself before he headed towards the others. Only he was stopped in his tracks when a man he’d never met before fell into step with him.

“Hello.”

“Hello?” Alec was thoroughly confused. He stopped and turned to face the man, who in turn stopped to face him too. 

“I’m Thomas. Sorry, you have no clue who I am,” The man- Thomas- said, his lips curving up into a devilish smirk as he gestured over to the group still messing around in the water, “I’m friends with Simon? He messaged me last night, saying he was in the Hamptons too and that he had a friend I’d like to meet.”

Alec shook his head his eyes falling to stare at his feet. He wasn’t quite sure what to say. In fact, a small part of him didn’t even want to reply. A big part of him, however, wanted to march up to Simon and scream. This was not what he wanted to happen today. In fact, a voice in his head argued that he should just walk away. It wasn’t even that the man- Thomas- , wasn't handsome, he was, very much so. Alec wasn’t blind. But Alec wasn’t interested in talking to the man. He wasn’t sure why. Except he was. He just wasn’t willing to admit that his heart already belonged to someone. His heart wasn’t his own anymore. 

“Nice to meet you Thomas” Alec said awkwardly. Not knowing where to carry the conversation he started with the obvious. 

“Yeah, we had the same economics professor. So we’ve spent quite a bit of time around each other.”

“Oh, sorry to hear that.” Alec arranged his face into an overly sympathetic look, and pretended to wipe away a single tear.

To his surprised Thomas laughed. His laugh was rough. Alec mused that it sounded as if it must scratch his throat. Yet it wasn’t terrible. Different. Not awful. It wasn’t what he’d grown used to, it didn’t ring and twinkle in his ears the way he expected it to. 

Alec pushed that voice away. Silencing it in the back of his head.

He gave into to denial and settled on the beach with Thomas.

They talked for a solid half an hour. It wasn’t the easiest conversation Alec had ever had. It was filled with false starts, awkward interruptions and silences, but Alec supposed Thomas was a nice enough person. Well of course he was, he was friends with Simon.

Out of the corner of his eye Alec caught Magnus staring at him. So he waved.

Magnus didn’t wave back.

A twinge of pain passed through his chest. Alec pushed the pain aside and smiled back at Thomas, who was talking about animatedly about the new Star Wars film. Yeah, he was definitely friends with Simon.

\---

“Hey Magnus.” Isabelle grumbled loudly. Sighing deeply with the man still ignored her. “Magnus!”

Again he blanked her. His lips were drawn into a harsh line, his stare was cold and his arms were hanging limp by his side. It was as if he was torn between two option: storming off and confronting whatever was annoying him and curling into himself and giving up.

Isabelle studied him for a while and let her gaze follow his.

Oh. That wasn’t good.

“Magnus!” Isabelle called once more. She’d never seen him look so despondent. In the end she waded through the water and gently lay a hand on his shoulder, “Hey.”

Quick as a flash Magnus plastered a serenely pleasant grin across his face. Though it never met his eyes. It lacked the beautifully shining quality it normally held. Isabelle could see how her brother had fallen so deeply in love with Magnus’ smile. 

“Isabelle, sorry something caught my eye, that family of there-” He started, the lie falling from his lips in thinly veiled misery.

“You don’t need to lie. I know you were staring at Alec.” Isabelle said bluntly. 

Magnus stared at her blankly. For the first time since meeting him Isabelle had caught Magnus Bane speechless. 

“Are you going to tell him?”

“Tell him what?” Magnus played dumb. They both ignored that fact that his voice was quiet and beginning to crack, “He looks perfectly happy.”

“Hmm, maybe. I suppose they do look really cute. Guess they’ll go on a date and find out for themselves.” As soon as the word were out of her mouth, she regretted them, but she couldn't stop the words from tumbling out. Even Magnus’ horror stricken face wasn't enough to shut her up. In her heart Isabelle knew she was tearing at Magnus’ fragile facade. She could see the crack starting to form, and she could see his eyes further dull in sadness. But she couldn’t stop, if pushing Magnus over the edge meant that he would stop pretending that he didn’t feel anything, then that is what she would do. It was awful to watch, but she prayed it would pay off, “Alec has always like blonds.”

\---

Jealousy flared up in Magnus’ body, smouldering fiercely behind his eyes. He knew it was ridiculous, that it wasn’t even his place to be jealous. But he couldn’t stop himself. 

Magnus’ feet moved all by themselves, on autopilot. He didn’t know what he was going to do, or what he was going to say. All of a sudden he found himself standing in front of Alec and his new acquaintance, and everything fell out smoothly, “Alexander, Darling, we’re going to be leaving soon. Are you ready?”

“Umm actually, Thomas just asked me if I wanted to go with him to get ice cream.” 

“Oh. Okay. Well have fun.” Magnus was flustered, “Sorry, I’m Magnus, who are you?”

“Thomas. I’m actually friends with Simon.” Thomas pointed over Magnus’ shoulder, waving stupidly at an approaching Simon.

“Hey, Thomas, you made it!” Simon exclaimed happily, a cheery smile stretching across his face.

Magnus was afraid if he smiled any wider his face would rip open. In this moment though, Magnus found himself wanting that to happen. A flurry of uncharacteristically snarky thoughts were flurrying into his head.

“And I see you met Alec.”

“Yeah we’re going to go get ice cream.”

“Lovely.” Simon clapped his hands together, his smile beaming even brighter, “Have him back by dark though.”

Simon was jokily wagging his finger at Thomas. It would have been funny if it weren’t for the fact Alec was the one that had to be back. With that, a furiously red Alec and a smirking Thomas walked to their destination. Magnus stood watching them leave with an oddly pleasant grin awkwardly pulled across his lips.

As soon as Alec was out of earshot, Magnus whipped around to face Simon. His eyes were narrowed and his hands were clamed up, he wasn’t sure he’d ever felt this way before, “Sherwin, what was that?”

“What was what?” Simon turned to him, his brows furrowed. He was truly puzzled.

Magnus exhaled slowly. He couldn’t let himself get angry at Simon. It wasn’t his fault he was oblivious. “Alec said he didn’t want to be set up.” 

“Well, to me it didn’t look like he minded.” Simon tilted his head, his forehead creasing further. He looked genuinely sorry until a thought dawned on him, “Why do you care so much?”

Magnus sighed. All in all he was struggling, “I don’t. I just know Alec. He’s too polite to say no.”

As the universe would have it, they were interrupted by the shrill sound of Magnus’ phone ringing from their bags. He had both been saved from the impending question he was about to receive from Simon and doomed when he realised the person calling was the last person he wanted to talk to.

\---

Alec wasn’t entirely sure what just happened back at the beach. He certainly wasn’t clueless, he’d seen the growing disappointment in Magnus’ eyes as he turned to leave with Thomas. It threw him off. After the awkward run-in a heavy silence settle over the pair. The thick atmosphere followed them all the way to the ice cream place.

Thomas took it upon himself to go to the counter and order for the both of them. Alec found them a table and sat down. 

Alec had his legs crossed and he was tapping his finger nails against the table, failing to notice the several pairs of eyes that turned to glare in annoyance at him. When Thomas returned, he pulled out a chair and took a seat, smiling in a tense way, the way people did when they were not quite sure what to do next.

Finally realising that Alec wasn’t going to start a conversation beyond pleasantries Thomas launched into a topic he knew all about: himself.

Alec curled his fingers into the palm of his hand, not caring about the sting that erupted. He wasn’t having a great time of it. He wasn’t all that sure why he agreed to come here with Thomas. Averting his eyes Alec twiddled his thumbs. He nodded his head, hummed in agreements here and there, when he had to, but that didn’t mean that he was absorbing the words. He wasn’t really paying attention. His mind wandering to other places, to other people.

It would seem that Thomas filled every breath and pauses with chatter. He didn’t even appear to pause for breath.

Alec kept opening his mouth to speak, to make his excuses and leave. No such luck.

In the end Alec concluded that Thomas wasn’t at fault. It was just that Alec couldn’t find it in himself to care. He couldn’t be bothered with telling people about himself, and he was sick of listening to people ramble about themselves, when there was only one person he truly wanted to talk to.

He remembered that once upon a time he told, that someone that they deserved someone who would hold their heart as if it was the most precious thing in the universe.

Alec wasn't that for Thomas. 

It was extreme that one half hour long conversation with a random man on the beach finally made everything click for Alec.

He couldn’t carry on being scared. He couldn’t keep thinking what if. It was time to bite the bullet. 

“I’m sorry Thomas. You’re lovely, but I’m not feeling it.”

“Oh thank God. I thought I was going to run out of things to say.” Thomas exhaled, finally taking a deep, much needed breath. 

Alec snorted. Seems he wasn’t the only one that didn’t have their heart in it.

“You like that Magnus person don’t you?” Thomas’ eyes bore into Alec’s searching for answers, though he already knew he had them.

“Am I that obvious?”

“Sort of.”

“If it was obvious, why did you ask me here?”

“Honestly, I was just trying to get Simon off my back. He’s been trying to set me up since we met. I couldn’t take his rambling anymore so I just agreed.”

“He does talk a lot, doesn’t he.”

“Lord, yes. I don’t know how Raphael deals with it.”

“I know right, they’re polar opposites.”


	8. Chapter 8

Magnus walked away from Simon, unwilling to turn back and face the disappointed look that was most likely gracing his features. He knew that by taking the call that he’d be letting himself down, that he’d be breaking his promise to himself. The thought was painful. Magnus could deal with breaking promises to himself, but he’d once said to Alec that he’d put Camille behind him. Yet here he was. 

Every step and every word Camille spoke was like a jarring blow to the stomach. Her voice was light and sickly sweet, but even her supposedly apologetic words were dripping with selfish venom. 

Eventually Magnus found a bench to sit on. He sat there listening to Camille talk about the short notice trip that prevented her from meeting up with Magnus. Prevented. She chose to go on that trip. She prevented it. It was her fault. 

Magnus’ blood was boiling, and for the first time he could see through her excuses and lies. He’d been so blind to it all. To think he’d spent so much time pinning and crying over someone who didn’t care.

Perhaps it was time to finally close that chapter of his life. Once and for all. Over the past few weeks, and especially over the past few days, Magnus had learnt a lot about himself and his future. Camille wasn’t to be included in any of it.

“Camille.” He said her name loudly, promptly cutting off her speech about how he shouldn’t be so sensitive. “I don’t want you to ever call me again. I want you to delete my number and leave me alone. You cannot keep walking in and out of my life whenever you feel like it.”

“See, Darling, this is exactly what I mean, you’re so dramatic. I really don’t see why you have to make such a fuss.” She laughed down the line. It wasn’t a pleasant sound, it was nothing like Magnus remembered. Her laugh was thick with malice. Magnus had come to grasp that Camille was the walking, talking human representation of the seven deadly sins.

“I mean it. I won’t ask again.”

“Is this about that Andrew boy. I’ve heard whisperings.”

“Alec. His name is Alec.”

“I don’t care what his name is. Are you or are you not seeing him?” Camille hummed into the phone. Magnus could practically picture he twirling her hair with a sly smirk on her face, the thought of her doing so was enough to make him want to throw up. “I’ll take that silence as a no. Good. You should probably keep it that way. After all, he could never compare to me. What you and I have Magnus, you’ll never find anything better. He could never love you.”

“Don’t Camille. You don’t know anything.” Magnus seethed.

“Oh Magnus, Sweetie, do you love him? Are you worried now that you realise he could never love you back? It’s not really a surprise. Damaged goods and all.” 

With that final remark, Magnus hung up, and he didn’t answer she when she tried to call again. Instead, he took a deep breath and blocked her number.

Every moment he’d spent on the phone with her was awful, and brought back too many painful memories. They were sharp, cutting at his mind. The worst part was not every moment with Camille was terrible. They had their fair share of sweet memories. But now, even thinking of the good times was like twisting a knife in his heart. 

Camille ruined so many things for Magnus. She ruined his memories. She pierced his soul and tainted it; she made him skeptical about people and love. He hated her for that. She turned him into a broken mess, made him walk on eggshells and turned him into someone he wasn’t. And all the while he was blind to it. He supposed he hated himself a little too, for letting someone get that close. 

Now, there’s that booming voice in his head that puts him down inside, telling him how he’s not worthy of love, how he’s broken. Ruined.

Magnus may want to Alec. But did Alec want him? After all he was currently out on date with a stranger.

He felt foolish. He’d wasted so much time. Time that he may never get back. 

Alec didn’t want him. As far as Magnus knew not only did Alec have a crush who did not reciprocate his feeling, he was also on a date with Thomas.

Sitting on the bench, in god knows where in the Hamptons, something shifted inside of him. Magnus blinked and a tear flowed unchecked down his face and dripped from his chin. Then another. And another. His eyes quickly became glazed with glassy tears. His hands fell limply over his knees, his eyes felt red and raw.

Magnus stood abruptly, wiping his face with the sleeve of his jacket, “Pull yourself together.”

\---

Magnus spent the walk back rummaging through every thought about Alec in his head. He thought back to every memory he could, every feeling he’d ever had around Alec. Every moment where he’d ignore that part of himself that told him to give in, to let himself love. He cursed himself for giving into the larger part of himself that told him that he wasn’t good enough.

 

Magnus was in love with Alec. He could finally admit it. 

Alec rarely left his mind, he was always there; mentally if not physically. Alec was the one person that could always keep him sane. Magnus lived in a world filled with chaos, yet Alec was someone who was a stable force in the midst of it. 

Magnus was in love with Alec and he couldn’t believe he’d only just realised it.

The feeling was strange. It was an overwhelming realisation, although it was something a small part of him had known for a long time, it felt different to finally let himself admit it. It felt like his heart was leaping and dancing around in his chest; and a hole, that he was never aware was there, had been filled. 

It’s frightening how a person can go from being a complete stranger, to a friend, to someone you adore, only to leap into being a person that you can no longer live without. Magnus couldn’t picture his life without Alec. 

Realisation is a very powerful thing. Too bad it came far too late.

\---

“Hey, anyone back yet?” Alec clicked the door open and called through the house.

Magnus didn’t reply. Instead he merely sighed. The sigh was resigned, weary and quiet. So terribly quiet that Magnus was sure it would go unnoticed and that he’d be able to force a smile before Alec even entered the lounge. Of course, he was wrong. Nothing ever went undetected when he wanted it too.

“Magnus what’s wrong?” Alec’s gaze stuck on Magnus, searching his face for any sort of clue as to what could have happened.

“Camille called.”

“What the fuck. Tell me you didn’t answer.” Alec rushed orwards and stood in front of Magnus, his heart pounding. But upon noticing Magnus’ gloomy face, he moved to sit next to the man, offering up a hug. Only slightly hurt when Magnus shrugged him away. “I understand you need closure. I get that. But she won’t give it to you. She just spins more webs, more excuses and lies. Whatever she said Magnus, she could never love you, not they way that I - not like how I know you deserve. Did she move the moon and the stars to apologise-”

Magnus settled him with a blank look and promptly stood up, “I don’t want to talk about it. How was your date?”

“Oh it wasn’t a date. But it was fun.” Alec’s voice trailed off at the end, he wasn’t able to hide the way his voice was breaking, so he thought it was best to keep it short.

“Good. I’m going to go to bed. I’m quite tired.”

“I could join you? We could watch a film or something.”

“No, I can’t be around anyone right now.” Alec. He couldn’t be around Alec.

\---

Nothing had ever been so tense between to two of them. That was the shortest interaction they'd ever had. They’ve barely spoken to each other. For the first time ever Alec wasn’t sure what to say to Magnus. Normally things around Magnus were easy. Everything always fell into place with them, but that wasn’t the case this time.

It was as if everything was hanging in a perfect balance, and that one wrong step, one wrong word, one wrong confession would ruin it all. Alec didn't like it. The feeling made his skin crawl and that feeling of dread was the last thing he expected to feel around Magnus.

Maybe it was just him. Maybe he was being ridiculous, seeing things that weren’t there, making it bigger than what it was. Magnus had just gotten off the phone with Camille, that was enough to shake anyone; But Magnus had never pushed him away over her before.

Maybe he was wrong. Maybe Magnus didn’t want him to know everything. Alec was okay with that. Though he can’t help but feel like their relationship has taken a step back. 

Alec sorted through his head for a moment. He sat on the sofa, his head in his hands as he stared straight ahead. They were friends. All Alec wanted to do was help.

Then it hit him, he’d just ranted about his hatred of a women he’d never met, to the man who used to love her. Even if Magnus knew Alec was right, Alec had let his own emotions go unchecked, he’d unleashed his anger. Maybe it was too much for Magnus. Maybe Alec had revealed too much and freaked him out.

After all, friends don’t say those types of things.

Friends. 

Even just thinking it was a stab to his heart. Everything was just so difficult. If only Alec could have kept his emotions in check.

That’s the thing though, when words and actions, brain and heart, have different objectives. They pull in different directions. Really, it could only end two ways. Alec could tell Magnus how he feels, follow his heart, and be rejected, ruin everything between them. Or he could follow his head, play it safe, and be content with just being friends.

His mind was a mess. A tangle of chaos. 

This wasn’t fair.

None of it was fair.

He hated her. He didn’t even know her. 

He didn't think is was fair that he was falling for his best friend. He didn’t think it was fair that he couldn’t say anything about it. He didn’t think it was fair for Camille to storm back into Magnus’ life because it suited her.

“What wrong big brother? Where’s Magnus?” Isabelle’s voice knocked Alec out of his inner turmoil. Though her sudden appearance meant he didn’t have time to wipe away his fallen tears.

“Camille called.”

“Tell me he didn’t answer.Dios. I hate that women. Why did he answer? I know he won’t go back to her after everything, but I thought he was done? Especially because of the way he feels about- he feels different now, he won’t go back. ”

Alec was stuck on Raphael’s slip up, his mind was racing, overthinking the weight of the words. Yet he couldn’t stop focusing on it. Then he realised that Raphael was waiting impatiently for a reply and the words rolled of his tongue before he could stop himself, “I think that’s the most words you’ve ever spoken to me.”

He wasn’t sure why he said that. It wasn’t the time or the place.

Raphael settled him with a steely glare and promptly stood back up, “You two are perfect for each other. Even that comment.” Raphael shook his head in despair, “Pathetic. The lack of communication is pathetic.”


	9. Chapter 9

Having calmed himself down Alec ventured upstairs towards the bedroom. The sun had sunk lower in the sky, draining away the light of day. Dusky colours cloaked the sky, giving way to the looming sheet of darkness. The air buzzed quietly beyond the walls, street lights clicked on and the wind was cool, rustling in the trees. Twilight had fallen, and a close silence was drawing in. Only the faintest of lights shone through the crack of the bedroom door.

“Magnus.” Alec knocked on the door softly, quietly, carefully incase Magnus had actually fallen asleep. When Alec was met with silence he crept into the room. 

The lamp on Magnus’ bedside table was still on casting a warm glow throughout the room. Not wanting to disturb him, Alec gathered his things and went into the en-suite. Alec stood in front of the bathroom mirror, drowning in the painful silence, he took in his appearance. His eyes were dull and puffy, and his hair was a tangled mess from having ran his fingers through it too much. Heaving a heavy sigh Alec actively avoided the mirror from then on and got ready for bed.

Padding cautiously across the floor Alec rounded the bed to turn off the light. Upon reaching the bedside, however, he stopped. 

Magnus’ features were scrunched up, just a little, but if was enough for Alec to notice. His face was usually softer, relaxe. Yet as Alec stood peering at him, in a fashion he had no right to be doing, he couldn’t help but notice the small details. 

Magnus didn’t look peaceful, the lines in his brow were oddly creased. That was all Alec needed to know. Even with the blanket pulled up over his shoulder, Alec knew that Magnus’ breathing wasn’t that of someone who was deep in sleep. 

The realisation that Magnus was actively ignoring him, pretending to be asleep, knocked Alec to his core. Alec bit his lip tightly in an attempt to stop any sound that wanted to escape him, his heart sank. His eyes suddenly swam with tears and he hurried to scrub them away. Alec was at a loss.

For once Isabelle appeared to be wrong. And as always, Alec had royally fucked things up.

All he knew was that he couldn’t sleep in here. However, he didn’t really have a choice. Alec hesitantly climbed into the bed, settling as far away from Magnus as he could. He didn’t want to fall asleep. He fought it at every point. He forced himself to stay awake. 

Heartache was something Alec had never gone through before. It was something he didn’t understand either. It was like being stabbed in the heart a thousand times, but somehow he’d survive, only to keep living with the agony. It was crying and having the tears sting like bees. 

Everything ached. Maybe he was being overly dramatic, but laying their next to his best friend, the man he was falling in love with, and actively ignoring each other? It was everything Alec had been trying so hard to avoid. 

In the end Alec’s mind ran circles around him, and he grew too exhausted to force his eyes open any longer. Alec would describe falling asleep as a way of obtaining sweet release from the worries of the world. In his dreams he could find an escape, and he could be oblivious to his concerns.

Tonight wasn’t like that.

Alec fell into a fitful sleep, he would enjoy brief wisps of respite, where his mind was blank, only for his troubles to burst to the forefront of his mind.

\---

Alec woke up to an empty bed the next morning, not that he was all that surprised. Sluggishly he wandered downstairs, hoping that someone else other than Magnus was awake. He couldn’t deal with anymore silent treatment. 

As fate would have it, when Alec reached the kitchen, the only person there was Magnus.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning.”

Silence hung in the air like the moment before a falling glass shatters to the ground; tense. The silence between them was a gaping void, needing to be filled with chatter, sounds, something, anything. This was perhaps the longest they’d ever gone without speaking.

It gnawed at Alec’s insides. He wasn’t going to let himself drown in it, “How are you feeling?”

“I’m fine.” Magnus said, not once looking up from where he was making his coffee.

“Magnus-” Alec started, his hand reaching out on instinct.

Magnus flinched away, “I said I’m fine. How are you, I bet you’re pretty happy that your date with Thomas went well.”

Alec’s hand faltered. His nerves increased by a tenfold, and his resolve was fraying around the edges, “It wasn’t-”

“Good morning.” Clary bounded down the stairs, her voice far too chipper for the current mood, “Oh, hey Magnus, how you feeling?”

“Morning Biscuit. What time were we planning on leaving again?” Magnus contorted his lips into an awkward smile, but he could feel that the rest of his face wasn’t compromising. He could feel the reluctance of his mind to make any effort. When Clary finally softened her scrutiny he allowed his face to relax. What was the point, they all knew he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“I think Iz said we have to be out by ten.” Clary said softly, as if she was talking to a startled child. Her eyes flicked between the two men. She never was very good at being subtle.

“Great. I’m going for a shower then.” Magnus beams tightly at Clary and circled around the counter to go upstairs, purposefully avoiding eye contact with Alec.

“What happened, you two were fine yesterday morning?”

“I don’t know. After he spoke to Camille, we talked but he didn’t want to be around anyone. I think I may have said something wrong.” Alec’s eyes were glassy with a sheen of sadness and the tension was slowly building behind them. He needed to shake it off. Now wasn’t the time for tears. 

Clary hand rubbed at Alec’s arm. When Alec turns to her to smile, a gesture he meant to reassure her that he was okay, he gives away the heartache he meant to mask.

“Alec, it’ll work out in the end.”

“That’s what Izzy said.”

“When is she ever wrong about these things?”

Alec chose to say nothing. Isabelle was wrong this time. As far as Alec could see he’d ruined everything. Magnus didn’t love him the way he loved Magnus. Judging by Magnus’ mood after his phone call with Camille, it seemed to Alec that maybe that chapter wasn’t fully closed.

\---

Magnus stepped into the shower, not caring that the water was beating down like ice onto his skin. His mind was in shreds as Camille’s words played over in his mind. He turned the dial, the cold water was numbing him, right down to his bones and he needed to feel. Turning the dial as high as it could possibly go, he almost cries out as the burning water seared at his back. Steam rose and the air was thick. Magnus’ eyes fell down to look over himself, of course, why would Alec ever want this? Why would anyone?

Magnus screwed his eyes closed and turned the water up, wincing as the stream beat over him. He hoped to drown out the small mocking voice in the back of his head, but he had no such luck.

Finally he stepped out of the shower, his toes curling up and flinching as they touched the chilled ceramic floor. He slowly approached the mirror and wiped away the steam. Magnus knew that he was handsome, he’d been told that by many people. Nevertheless as he stood in front of the mirror, searching for something that made him special, he couldn’t find anything.

\---

“Listen up people.” Isabelle brought everyone to attention, “Clary and I have to be back for early afternoon. We won’t be making any stops. Alec, Magnus you can ride back with us again if you want. Or Simon and Maia are wanting to stop off on the way and go for lunch. By default Raphael is going with them it’s up to you.”

Alec looked up from where he was picking at his fingernails when he heard his name. Twisting his head he met Magnus stare and searched for any form of agreement. Magnus’ eyes were deep alluring eyes never ceased to captivate Alec; he’d always been drawn to the flecks of gold that danced within the deep swirls. They had a mystery behind them. They had a warmth about them that was enough to make Alec fall for them with just one look. However he was taken aback when their eyes met. While Magnus, to Alec, looked as beautiful as ever, he didn’t miss the lifeless sheen. 

“We’ll just get a ride back with you.” Magnus answered for them when he realised Alec wasn’t planning on replying anytime soon.

“Oh yeah, um yeah that’s fine.”

“Great. Meet you outside in five then.” Isabelle smiled lightly before turning her attention to Clary.

“Magnus, I’m going to go get my bag, would you like me to carry yours down too?”

“If you don’t mind, that would be really helpful Alec.”

Alec. He called him Alec. In all the time they’d known each other, Magnus had never called him that. He’d always opted for Alexander. When Alec asked about it, Magnus had said that he like having his own name for Alec, that he suited it more. That it was their little thing. 

It was a small, seemingly insignificant detail to most. But Alec couldn’t get over it. He couldn’t believe it hurt so much.

\---

Isabelle’s eyes shifted over to the rearview mirror. She’d tried to catch Alec’s gaze several times to no avail. In the end she coughed unceremoniously, “Alec, you okay? You look tired.”

Alec shifted uncomfortably in his seat and grasped nervously at his sweaty hands. Shuffling his feet against the car’s floor he struggled to answer, “Yeah I, um.” He glanced over to Magnus who was sleeping soundly on the seat further away from him, “I just didn’t get much sleep.”

“You should go to sleep. Catch an hour or so.” Isabelle glanced back at him again. 

Alec grumbled quietly but Isabelle had a habit of wording things as if they were orders, so he relented. If he went to sleep, at least he wouldn’t have to deal with the half a dozen worried looks that the two girls each shot his way every minute.

As soon as Alec’s eyes shut a wave of darkness washed over him. His eyes were instantly heavy, having underestimated how exhausted he was. It was only a matter of seconds before he fell into a uncomfortable, dreamless sleep.

\---

Clary shuffled around in her seat to look at her sleeping friends. She scanned their faces, and paused for a minute before turning back to look at Isabelle, “What are we going to do about Operation Malec. It’s failed. Look at them, they’ve finally cracked and it clearly didn’t have the desired result.”

“No they haven’t. At least not yet. Magnus is hurt because he thinks that my oblivious brother has a crush and is dating freaking Thomas. Not to mention fucking Camille has surfaced back up from the pits of hell.” Isabelle exclaimed throwing her hands in the air, causing the car to swerve slightly. She huffed in annoyance and jabbed her finger in Alec’s direction “And he not only thinks Magnus is still stuck on Camille, but also that Magnus only sees him as a friend.”

“They haven’t cracked? Babe, they look miserable.” Clary slumped in her seat and cast her wide eyes towards Isabelle.

“They’re halfway there. They just need to admit it.Like you said, they’re miserable, one of them is going to break and tell the other why they’re upset at some point.” Isabelle assured her, removing one hand from the wheel to gently rest on Clary’s thigh, “Don’t worry about it.”

“This all seems very cruel. Can’t we just wake them up and tell them?”

Isabelle looked at Clary out of the corner of her eye. She smiled apologetically and rubbed her hand against Clary’s leg in a soft movement, “No. They have to be ready by themselves. Do those idiots look like they have their shit together to you Clary?”

“Point taken. They look so messy too.” A giggle rolled out of her mouth and she slapped her hands to a face in embarrassment. Clary mumbled incoherently to herself and pressed her head to her knees. Once she felt her cheeks cool, she brought Isabelle’s hand to her mouth and pressed a light kiss to the back of it, “I just hope they sort it out soon.”

Isabelle laced their fingers together and glanced back in the mirror for what felt like the millionth time, “Me too.”

\---

After saying their goodbyes to Isabelle and Clary, Alec and Magnus made their way up to the apartment, a thick silence enveloped them. Not a single word was spoken as they climbed the stairs. When Alec clicked the lock and opened the door to the apartment he was somewhat relieved, and his heart simultaneously rose and sunk. 

He was happy to be home. This place was his sanctuary, a place filled with fond memories and warmth. He was comfortable here. Yet as Magnus made his way into his own bedroom, closing the door behind him, all of the goodness was tainted.

The natural flow to their relationship and their home had been thrown off kilter, and there was an awkwardness that Alec had never expected to feel.

\---

Standing in the middle of his bedroom Magnus reflected on the last twenty four hours of his life. He placed a hand to his chest, he could feel the frigid ache surrounding his heart more and more with each beat, but at least he knew it was still there.

Magnus had had his heart broken before, but never like this. All the other times it was obvious breakage. The first time his heart broke was when he found out his first love had cheated on him. The second time his heart broke was when his first love came back to him and mended his heart only to shatter it again for her own enjoyment.The third time it broke was he let it happen again. But this time, there was no major event, no one solid pinpoint when his heart shattered. This time it happened slowly at first then all at once, when he realised he was too broken from his first love, to ever have the second fall for him.

Magnus had been broken down before, and he feared that he could no longer feel as he did before. Then Alec came along and Magnus fell for him, without even noticing it. It was bliss. Until the dark lingering thoughts from the past reared their ugly heads again, knocking him down with a swift reminder that he wasn’t worth it.

Magnus couldn’t describe or explain what he did for the following hours. Everything turned into a blur. His mind was on autopilot and did menial tasks in a haze. All he knew when he looked out of his bedroom window was that the swirling blues of the sky had drifted into soft pinks and the evening had stolen away the colors of the day, bit by bit.

He stood for a long moment, letting the numbness take over him. As he stared out of the window Magnus replayed his memories. All he knew, at the end of the day, was that he was afraid. Afraid of going completely numb again. He’d been there before. Yet he was also afraid of feeling, of letting his emotions be known. Revealing his feelings would only lead to rejection, which would only lead to more numbness. 

Quite frankly, no matter which way Magnus looked at it, it could end up in pain.

Alec could never love someone who could be broken by so much as a simple phone call. 

Magnus sighed, it was deep and weary and dissipated out into the vastness of the world. It was a sigh that triggered a butterfly effect. That sigh, that tiny realisation that he was giving up, something he vowed never to do, was a pivotal turning point. 

Magnus Bane was not a quitter.

He wasn’t sure at what moment he became a person who gave up on love. Maybe it was after Camille. But all he knew was that he couldn’t build his walls up because of one person. He at least had to try.

Even if Alec didn’t or couldn’t love him, he wouldn’t let himself be dragging into nothingness once more.

\---

A soft knocked echoed throughout the still air, “Alexander. Can I talk to you for a moment please?” 

“One second.” Alec scrambled to wipe his face and detangle his untamed locked from where his fingers had pulled relentlessly through it, “Okay, you can come in.”

“Alexander, I just wanted to apologise.”

“What for?”

“For pushing you away. I shouldn’t have done that. I just thought you were disappointed in me and I couldn’t take that. I’m happy to have you in my life, as a friend but-”

As a friend.

“Magnus we’re not friends.” A laugh burst from Alec, graceless and empty. The sound bubbled out of him automatically and he tossed his head back in misery, “I am not your friend.”

“Alexander. What are you saying?” Magnus’ blood ran cold and his pupils were blown out and there was a tremor to his hands. He pleaded internally that Alec would look at him, that he’d say something to fill the void that he’d unintentionally inflicted. “Alexander, please, why would you say such a thing?”

Magnus grabbed Alec’s hands, interlocking them with his own. 

“It’s just- friends don’t feel the way I feel about you Magnus.” Alec glanced down at their entangled hands and sniffled lightly, “Izzy was trying to set us up with night we first met, did you know that? But then you said that you were just getting over a break up, so we left it at that. I thought that being friends with you was better than nothing. It’s not enough anymore Magnus. It’s not enough. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry that I couldn’t stop myself. I’m sorry that everytime you look at me I feel like I’m floating on air. I’m sorry that I miss you whenever you’re not around, and that my heart skips several beats when I see your face. I’m sorry that I dream about the way it would feel to be held in your arms. I’m so fucking sorry because friends aren’t supposed to do that.” 

“Alexander, you can still be my best friend and feel all of those things because who said that I didn’t feel the same?” 

“Don’t say that, not if you don’t mean it.” 

Magnus detangled his fingers from where they were laced through Alec’s and wrapped one arm around his face. With the other he carefully wiped the tears that were falling down Alec’s face. 

The simple touch sent a buzz of butterflies coursing through Alec’s veins, instantly settling the rising anxiety that had creeped up inside of him.

“Alexander, I have been blinded for so long. I’ve spent a long time waiting for closure, only to realise the only person I can get that from is myself. I’ve lost on so much time with you Alexander, because I was scared I’d built my walls back up too high.”

“Magnus?” All the air had been knocked from Alec’s lungs. The fear of rejection, of breaking what they have had been ripped away. The way Magnus was looking at him surely it couldn’t be? “You really mean it?”

“Of course I do.” Magnus moved his head closer to Alec. He sits frozen from both fear and excitement. This was finally happening. Alec leant in and rested his forehead against Magnus’. Magnus’ eyes fluttered closed at the proximity, his breathing shaky, “And for the record, I’m really fucking sorry too.” he said in barely more than a whisper.

“I think we should both stop apologising.” Alec laughed lightly, his voice low.

“Maybe we should stop talking too.” Magnus’ voice wavered, he’s never felt this much built up tension for a person before. It was all very new and it lit a fire in the stomach, he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Agreed.” Alec closed the distance to press a soft kiss to Magnus’ lips. 

They pull apart, eyes shining with twinkling passion, their breaths shaky and shallow.

Alec was completely unprepared. He’d would have thought after months of dreaming about this moment he’d be ready. Nothing could have prepared him for the uncontrollable shocks that would sparkle through his body.

Magnus lips brushed against Alec’s again. Not as innocent as the first time, there’s more fire behind it. Alec wanted to lose himself in it. Although he probably already was lost, his mind was a mess, and he could no longer think straight.

“Alexander.” Magnus whispered against his lips when he pulled away for air. He draws out each sounds, as if to savour them.

Alec smiled brightly, delicately bumping their noses together, his heart fluttered insanely as he cupped one hand lightly around Magnus’ jaw and tangled the other in his hair. Never before has his name sounded so beautiful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
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> 
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